Today I am writing about a sensitive topic that hits close to home in my heart, violent child custody battles.
http://www.change.org/petitions/prime-minister-julia-gillard-australia-change-laws-in-family-court-to-add-compassion?utm_campaign=share_button_action_box&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=30493455
This cause opened an old wound and was an indication it was time to take a stand. I am was a victim of Domestic Violence and had to struggled, escape and survived through much physical as well as verbal abuse, and it the midst of this had to be concerned for the safety of my three children. Like so many we ran to a shelter and with therapy and services was able to find the light at the end of the tunnel. The tension of the going back and forth to family court for custody of the children affected them very deeply. My older son forgave me. My middle son held a grudge for a long time and my daughter was insecure about connecting with males. 20 years later, and many trials, they are all grown and successful adults and forgave me for the paths I choose for them in the darkness to keep them safe. I can admitted proudly I am a survivor and if I had to do it again I would. No one knows what happens behind closed doors in homes everywhere.
Woman were raised to believe that Marriage was to be a life time commitment until death do us apart, it was my raising as well as many women around the world, so when the loving spouse does something that puts fear in one's spirit and they feel threatened, they decide to run and hide. Something happened in this relationship that made a mother packed up her children travelled from Italy to Australia, and separated from her spouse, the question is what? A dear friend outage by the actions of the family court decided to create a petition and I have added the badge to the site for others to review and decide to sign the petition and help bring compassion to the courts.
Update I have to apologized to all parties, it was not family courts, thinking USA frame of mind, thank you to my twitter friend from Australia, they set me straight with the facts, it wasn't family law that sent the girls back, it was international law set by the Hague Convention to which Australia has signed...and yes it was horrible what happened to those innocent girls.
http://www.change.org/petitions/prime-minister-julia-gillard-australia-change-laws-in-family-court-to-add-compassion?utm_campaign=share_button_action_box&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=30493455
When I saw this heart wrenching story, I could relate with the mother, as she had her children torn from her by heartless workers of the court. when I married a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and he shown his true colours, and became abusive, I kept silent, until one night I could not tolerate the abuse any more. I torn off my rose coloured glasses after being slapped and punched once too many time and called names and in desperation planned an escape. It was not the first escape and it took many attempts to leave. Fears and poor self esteem and broken promises I stay and thought with out the proper education or job training, I thought I was trapped. But I awoken one morning, and I knew this was not the environment I wanted to raised my children in. I swallow my dignity and let the secret out of the closet and asked for assistance. And was able to find the resources with strangers and professional blessings and we walked the path to a new happier life.
I could sympathizes with spouses who decide to take the children and leave an unsafe situation, as this woman and her four children did. And now the courts have decided to separate the daughters from their mother and send them back to their father in Italy. There was a video on the Internet of their emotional heart breaking departure, and the emotional agony of this family as they all experienced the trauma as the daugther were to be taken away in a hostile manner .The video was taped to raise awareness that courts of the world need to have more compassion methods installed in their procedures when the children are the victims of a custody battle.
The catalyst of this petition creation came about because a woman with 4 daughters aged 9-15 years old lived in Italy, told her husband she wanted to take her four daughters to Australia for a holiday getaway and did not return home and went into hiding for two years, changed her one of her daugther's names and broke all links to their father, there has to be a serious concern here for her to do all this and break the law. And questions to ask, was he abusive, and she was she terrified and decided to escape his abuse? Is she unbalance and does not know what she wants? Does she want her freedom from him, change her life and keep her daughters with her? It does not matter, the courts were harsh with dealing with the victims, the children and they need to make changes to their procedures.
There is a petition widget on this blog today as well as the others I utilized for writing about subjects that interested others. When a dear friend sent this cause to my email and I research the facts, it hit me and many of my close friends deeply, so I decided to dedicated a weekend, October 10/5/12-10/7/12 to help the petitioner to collect signatures for this worthy cause. Abuse victims after resettling in their new lives are all survivors of DV, and knew the tumult and agony one experiences when there in the midst of this hectic storm. And if an angel needs just 99 signatures to have to courts evaluate cases with more compassion, then I am willing to assist.
As of the writing of this blog, the petitioner needed 98 signatures to have the courts evaluate child custody battles with more compassion. Yes the mother could go back to Italy and be with her daughters but she does not want to and the details are hidden from the public's eye as to the why, but if she is stalling there has to be dark secrets that no one is willing to bring to the light. She created a safe life for her four daughters the last two year while hiding from the authorities. Some questions to ponder about this case, when they torn the girls away from the mother's arms, and left her shattered with a broken heart, why did no one stopped it?. Why did the two older girls make such an emotional outburst display on the plane and became rebellious enough to be escorted off the plane?. While the two younger stayed on and travelled to Italy?.
Another question was the father a champion by not pressing charges against the mother for kidnapping his children, out of consideration or because he did not want to be the centre of attention of the media circus?.
Another question, if he had the money to hired the expensive lawyers, who were the guardians for the children and what about their voices, do they have rights too?
This case is wrapped in bureaucracy tape and secrets, but I as a survivor of DV and child custody battles as well as my others friends and the petitioner of this cause knew the truth about DV and wanted to help these children as well as the many silent ones who can not advocate for themselves. By supporting this petition that only needs 98+ signatures to be activate by bringing attention to this personal cause, you could save lives. Many concerned citizens from around the globe desired to hear the whole truth about this and to have their story exposed and for the ones who were protecting them to tell their side of the story, when the storm settles hopefully the truth will come to light. And finally to let the girls expressed themselves as to why they do not want to be separated from their mother and/or why the father will not cooperate for the benefit of the daughters and agree to share custody unless mother goes back to Italy.
This petition could be the first pioneer effort to attempt to create new or update standing family court amendments regarding the laws of child custody cases and how the families, spouses and children should be treated, with respect, dignity, not humiliated in public or torn apart savagely from their parent, and be permitted to have their voices be heard, not silenced.
If I was older adult or wiser when I decided to be impulsive and snatched my children for their safety, I would of taken their feelings into consideration and let them voiced their desires and regrets. If they wanted to go to him, then I would of been hurt but being the mature adult, accepted their decision if I and the guardians of the court thought this would have been the best resolution for my three children. Now these four precious daughters are in the same dilemma, who is their voice? We the petition signers that's who. .
I am not a psychologist or have enough education to predict their future, but my experience as a veteran in the war of dysfunctional marriages, abuse or chemical instability, the children are the innocent pawns in the midst of immaturity between two adults with different opinions . And they should not suffer for someone eles mistakes, they should be able to declare their rights to be heard and they should have the last word to do what they want with their lives and futures. And the family courts should be more compassion in their final decisions.
I owe readers an apology, it was not the family courts who sent the girls back to Italy, thank you to
Aussie Labor@MTMC2 it wasn't family law that sent the girls back, it was international law set by the Hague Convention to which Australia has signed.. |
@AusPolitico (thank you for setting me and other straight with the facts)
Yes it was horrible what happen to those innocent four girls. This is not just an international plea, it is a worldwide call for changes to show compassion to the victims in the midst of custody battles. |
So please this weekend, research the case and do what your heart tells you to do and help this cause and sign the petition. It will save lives. What is better then that?
http://www.christianet.com/christiandivorce/howtowinchildcustodyformothers.htm
http://www.christianet.com/christiandivorce/howtowinchildcustodyformothers.htm
http://www.drjamesbow.com/publications/assessing-allegations.pdf
http://www.drjamesbow.com/publications/assessing-allegations.pdf
http://www.familylawwebguide.com.au/cc/pg/news/view/860
http://www.familylawwebguide.com.au/cc/pg/news/view/860
http://www.familylawwebguide.com.au/spca/pg/news/view/1001/index.php&keep_session=1703566452
http://www.familylawwebguide.com.au/spca/pg/news/view/1001/index.php&keep_session=1703566452
http://www.familylawwebguide.com.au/spca/pg/news/misc//index.php&keep_session=1703566452
http://www.familylawwebguide.com.au/spca/pg/news/misc//index.php&keep_session=1703566452
The drawing was created by the petitioner. Kudos to her generous heart to be the advocate for the silent ones in the world, the CHILDREN. Let's help her raise awareness and sign the petition today.
The Children Are Our Future. Let's help them be individuals not afraid to express their fears and choose what is right for their own lives with guidance from sensitive professionals.
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