Thursday, July 26, 2012

You’re Never Alone, A Child of Divorce Searches for Happiness by Philip Nork, Jr.

 This is the author's description of his book Never Alone:

"Growing up is difficult. It can be a lonely and frightening experience if you let it. It’s even harder if your parents are divorced and you think you have no one to talk to, no one who cares and no one who even knows you’re alive. And although there are times when you’ll do things you know aren’t correct, remember you’re never alone. In life each of us is on a journey. It’s filled with questions and answers, rights and wrongs; choices and lessons. It often goes by the name “self discovery.” No two lives can ever be totally the same, nor are any two journeys; like fingerprints, yours is totally unique to you. But there is one common bond in all of our paths and that is the presence of other people. How you decide to perceive, interact with, and learn from them greatly shapes the true you that will emerge."

This is a personal biography of a young boy growing into a happy adjusted child until the tragedy hits, his parent decided to get divorce, the happy go lucky extrovert child loses all senses of himself and where he belong in the world. He had mentors and loving grandparents but when his family is torn apart so is his reality. To add the importance of this book; as a reader I am aware there are statistics about divorce families,about the negative consequences; it is usually is about the female child and the negative effects that occurs to her; she becomes the daughter of separate parents and becomes lost. Looking for security and trying to find her lost self that has been stripped her she usually goes towards the addictions of a party life, alcohol, drug and sexual intimacy to fill in the missing parent. Looking for a father replacement  in all the wrong places, and has regrets about her impulsive actions. Some lost children find their way  back home and others become lost in the darkness.

This author has written a sentimental poignant story from a male child's point of observation. He decided he is not going to be like the other dysfunctional males in his life, the one who treated women with no respect  uses and discards them. He values his grandmother's advice and his beliefs in his faith and starts a journey to be a better man and a loving man.

 Beginning his journey to  discover what is his purpose in life is and discovers it is to share his insights  with every woman he meets from child to adulthood. Giving the reader a glimpse of the ones he meets along the way and what each share to become better individuals. He thought he was teaching them a lesson, but in return they were teaching  him life lessons about values, humility, compassion, respect, trust and other vital integrity elements all men need to attain to become well developed individuals. In his book he outlines his theories and rules how one can become a compassionate individual through life stories. Explaining on his journey of self exploration he discovers how to divide himself from how society’s sees him and what he wanted to mature into and desires to share the discoveries with others. 

In this emotional observation each encounter he has with a female, be a stranger,friend and/or lover of diversity, he extracts the positive qualities from each and creates a lesson and rule about how to be a complete male not afraid of his feminine side, the yin and the yang of all babies when they are born. The male and female personality which society dictates for each gender creating confusion and the opposite sex but  to be deny their opposite traits of their gender identification, and stay with the sex stereotype view they were born as. Females are to be all sweet and sugar, or males, rough and tumble. As a survivor of a broken relationship  from my spouse, I was reminder of my middle son's personality transformation, when he was younger he had those feminine traits and I thought he will be a sweet, romantic and sensitive boyfriend and husband for he understood what a woman needed, to be treated with respect and a relationship is a two way connection. But as time passed and he matured the peer pressure he experienced, made him deny those traits and turned towards the male perspective of society, hiding that yin of his existence, and  I cried silently but let him go to be his own person with the muscularity traits as his own, once in awhile I see the sweetness that is hidden behind that rough man exterior.   

The author explores these qualities and on his journey discovers the truths and incorporates them into his personality. Explaining his theories of how unity helps a relationship to blossom, like a gardener tending to his flower, with tender care and respect. If there were more people like him and parents and society did not deny but allowed the yin (female) and yang (male) traits to be accepted in each gender then there would be less domestic violence, less divorce and more loving balance in the dynamics of the family unit. 

As a reader one can observed this author during his growing challenges was able to keep his yin and yang traits of his personality intact and write a story about his experiences and his insight about how each person that walked in and out of his life added a special contribution to his life and the meaning of the exchange he had with them; His purpose was to help each one developed into a more confident individual and not be afraid to explore the positive and negatives of finding their own identity during personal storms such as divorce and other circumstances. 

He also touched lightly upon his faith and insecurities all young people faced when they are navigating through the trials of what one calls life. This is a very insightful, emotional and educational story about the lessons one learns in their journey to self-discovery. This could be a study aid for parents and young people to explore together. A start to have an open discussion about the insecurities one faces when they are travelling on the road of discovering themselves, others and what each person needs to absorb into the consciousness awareness to be able to attain compassion and insight in human nature . The most valuable lesson; to accept the yin and yang traits on becoming a whole person  and have respect for one another and bring harmony, not dysfunctional attitudes to the forefront of humanity's existence . 

You can find this and other thoughtful insight books about life's challenges at this link

I was given this eBook in exchange for honest review from the author.

4 Stars

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